Finding His Voice
by Death Eater Bella
Summary: Gordon fears the one he loves is dead. Fears that he didn’t get the chance to tell her how he feels. D0g, a flying van and a quest to save City 17 will bring them closer together, closer than either thought possible. GordonAlyx.


_Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with Half-Life, not even their awesome characters…_

_A/N: Set in the beginning of Half-Life 2: Episode One. Essentially my take on what _should_ have happened in 'Undue Alarm' D. I used some of the dialogue from that scene but the rest is mine…. Enjoy! _

_Thanks to Narcissa B. Malfoy for editing for me! D_

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**Finding His Voice**

My senses sharpened as my surroundings swam into focus.

_Where am I?_ I thought. I looked up and realised I was trapped underneath several heavy metal sheets. Suddenly I heard a voice call out from somewhere above.

"He has to be somewhere nearby. We've got to be close…just got to be." Alyx! My heart quickened at the thought of Alyx Vance, that she was alive and safe.

_But Gordon, how could she have escaped the explosion?_ The dark voice of reality spoke up in my mind. My spirits fell, my last hope vanquished with a single thought._ I spent so much time with her before reaching the Citadel, why didn't I ever tell her how I felt then? I would have risked further injury to my vocal chords just to say those words to her…_ I smiled wistfully at the thought. Alyx Vance was possibly the most amazing woman I had ever met. The first time I laid eyes on her, I knew my heart was hers. I swelled with pride when I thought back to how she defended herself in battle; she rarely needed anyone to help her. We were a team and we worked well together, despite the fact I never spoke a word. I knew it disconcerted her as it did anyone else who spoke to me but she always took it in her stride. Ever since my throat was damaged by a barnacle's tentacle back in Black Mesa, I couldn't use my voice without experiencing a sensation like hot knives piercing through my neck.

I brushed my hand across my face and was startled to find tears there as I dwelled on the fact that Alyx was gone; there was no possible way she survived. _I only survived because of the G-Man. Damn him! When will I ever be able to break free of his control?_ I thought miserably.

"Any luck over there, D0g?" I heard her voice again, this time definitely assured that it was my imagination. Unexpectedly, a beam of light poured through a crack in the debris which had me pinned to the ground._ Someone was there!_ I thought excitedly. The robotic head of D0g, Alyx's ever faithful companion peered down at me before removing more debris. "D0g, I think I found something!" There was her voice again! It was louder and clearer this time as D0g lifted me out of the rubble. I looked over to my side and was startled by the sight; Alyx Vance digging through the rubble. As D0g settled me on the ground she continued talking. "Drop what you're doing and help me out here…" she trailed off as she looked towards D0g and saw me. Her hands flew to her mouth, her eyes watering with tears. She stepped towards me, her expression ecstatic; I could not remember ever seeing her this happy.

"Oh my god, Gordon!" she cried, running forward and throwing her arms around me tightly. I couldn't help but smile as she held onto me. _Alyx is alive! She's alive and here with me! _I couldn't contain my glee as I hugged her back, a response she definitely wasn't expecting as she pulled back suddenly. "I was so worried!" her eyes widened as a blush crept to her cheeks. She fiddled with her necklace as she chuckled nervously, glancing around the debris for a diversion. I smiled at her, my amazement still evident in my eyes as I stared at her. _She was alive!_ I repeated. My stare unnerving her further as she turned to D0g.

"Okay, D0g, go get the monitor set up so we can check in with my dad." At that, D0g scrambled up the slope and over to the monitor. She turned back to me,a happy smile on her face. "He must be so worried about us! He was so sure I wouldn't find you here." She turned and started to walk over to the ledge to climb up to help D0g with the monitor. _I have to tell her now before it's too late, before I lose my courage..._

"Alyx, wait!" I managed to call out, pain shooting through me as I clutched my throat. The sound that came out was not the one I remembered but then again, I hadn't spoken in over 20 years. She paused in mid step, taking a moment before turning around.

"Gordon! Your voice!" she ran over to me and grabbed my hand, "I haven't heard you talk before!" The surprise and amazement in her voice was palpable.

"I need to tell you something before the pain gets too much!" I grabbed her shoulders, willing her to sense the urgency in my disused voice and the sincerity in my eyes.

"What is it, Gordon?" she asked as she peered intently at me. I was startled to see affection surfacing in her eyes, mingling with her curiosity as she grabbed onto my arms, encouraging me. "Tell me!"

"Alyx, I love you!" my voice lowering to a whisper as it began to give out on me. "I have loved you since the day I met you." Silence permeated the air around us as we stared into each others eyes. My heart stood still as I waited for her response, I knew she had to feel something for me; I knew it! I could tell from the things she said to me, the way she looked at me when she thought I wasn't watching.

"What?" she whispered incredulously after a few moments.

"Please don't make me say it again; I don't think my throat can take it." I grinned at her nervously. Her face broke out into a smile before she threw her arms around me.

"Oh god, I love you too!" she whispered intensely into my ear. I wrapped my arms around her, hugging her close, unable to stop the grin from spreading across my face. Suddenly she pulled back and pressed her lips firmly against mine. My eyes closed as I allowed my passion and desire for her take over. A warm feeling stole through me as I ran my hands through her hair, kissing her deeply. This feeling right now; the feeling of being loved made all the horror I had suffered since that eventful day at the Black Mesa Research Facility all a little more worth it. "I have wanted to do that for so long!" she whispered fervently before pressing her lips to mine once more.

We were so involved with each other and the feel of each others hands and lips on our skin that we didn't notice Eli and Isaac appear on the screen.

"Finally found your voice, Gordon?" Eli laughed from the screen, his voice startling us apart; making it obvious that they had witnessed everything. Alyx stepped back from me, her face reddening as I smiled at Eli, finding myself unable to use my voice any longer.

"Hi, Dad!" she greeted cheerfully in an attempt to cover her embarrassment. "Look who I found." She pointed out gesturing to me, causing her father and Dr Kleiner to start laughing.

"We can see that, honey." Eli responded. I stepped closer to Alyx and slipped my arm around her waist. She smiled appreciatively at me as we climbed up onto the platform closer to the screen.

"Always knew you had a thing for my daughter, Gordon." Eli mused as he tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Even as a mute you were obvious!" Alyx glanced at me in surprise while I ducked my head in embarrassment; I hadn't realised that everyone knew about it. I could just imagine what Barney would say when we met up again.

"_Now I'm definitely taking you out for that beer! Unless you too busy with Alyx that is."_ It seemed the typical response my old friend would have.

"We have a problem, Alyx, honey." Eli pressed, leaning in closer to the screen.

"What's wrong, Dad?" she asked curiously.

"We can discuss it when you get to the outpost… I'm just glad that you two are out of the city." He stepped back looking thoroughly relieved. His relief however, was short lived as Alyx looked away nervously.

"You _are _out of City 17, aren't you, Alyx?" He asked anxiously.

"Well, not quite, Dad." She replied with a wry grin towards me.

"What do you mean, '_not quite'!_" he snapped, leaning closer to the screen in his chair. Dr Kleiner placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "You two have to get out of the city! The Citadel is going to blow any moment!" he continued, impassioned by the predicament we had unknowingly gotten ourselves into. Dr Kleiner stepped in front of Eli in an effort to calm him down.

"There's no question that it will, I'm afraid." He spoke up somberly. "Our remote sensors indicate the process is accelerating towards a dark energy flare. Anyone left in the vicinity will be subjected to energetic events whose effects are beyond my powers of speculation. The ravages to cellular material are unimaginable-"

"Kleiner, stop!" Eli shouted

"Oh dear! Eli, I'm sorry! I'm sure there is no need for any undue alarm." He turned towards us, adjusting his glasses slightly. "Alyx is well out of harms way by now."

"Well, actually, we are still at the Citadel." we cringed, waiting for the expected outburst. Unfailingly, there it came.

"_The Citadel!_ Alyx, you have got to be kidding me! _The Citadel?_" He repeated incredulously before Dr. Kleiner cut in,

"What? Oh dear! There's really no time. The core is exceedingly close to collapse. Why, there's no way to get far enough without first…well…nothing short of a direct intervention in the core could possibly retard the reaction.

"Izzy-" Eli tried to call out to no avail. Alyx turned to me with a fearful look in her eyes before turning back to Dr. Kleiner.

"You mean….going in?"

"Into the core, yes. But it's far too dangerous to consider. The chamber will be bathed in radiation. Alyx whirled around and grabbed onto my arm.

"Well, you do have the hazard suit. If we found a way into the Citadel, it's possible we could-"

"Alyx, no!" he sat up from his chair, grasping the handles tightly as he moved closer to the screen.

"But, Dad..." she began. Eli turned to Dr Kleiner and grasped his arm.

"Izzy, talk some sense into her!" Dr Kleiner shot a grave look over at him as he pushed his glasses up his face once again.

"I'm sorry, Eli, but I don't see any other way. It would help us evacuate more citizens."

"We can do this, Dad." Alyx pleaded as she held onto my hand tightly. Eli stared at his daughter for a moment and then at me, glancing at our tightly clasped hands.

"Okay, Alyx, okay…just promise me- promise me that you won't take a single unnecessary risk." He warned seriously. I knew there were going to be risks every step of the way we took to intervene in the core reaction. I just hoped none of them fell into the unnecessary.

"I promise." Alyx replied firmly before stepping forward and touching the screen with her hand where her father's face was. "I love you."

"I love you too, baby." A grin broke out on his face as he watched Alyx step back into my arms. "Though now I think I have a rival for your love." He winked at me, causing Alyx to blush, whereas I grinned. I was glad to know that by loving Alyx I could help to further protect her which is exactly the reassurance that Eli needed right now; the assurance that his daughter's life was in good hands.

"I'll be praying for you…" he whispered by way of farewell.

"Don't worry, I'll see you soon." She spoke up confidently to the screen, even flashing a big smile before the transmission went dead. Her shoulders slumped as she held her head in her hands. "Yeah…don't worry." I wrapped my arms around her tighter.

"We will be alright." I managed to whisper faintly before my voice gave out again, but I could tell my few words were enough as she rested her head against the hard chest plate of my HEV suit.

"I'm so glad were together in this." She whispered with her eyes closed as she ran her hand softly down my face. I nodded my head, my face brushing against her hair. She knew I agreed; words didn't need to express our gratitude for each other right now. After a few more minutes standing in each others arms, we made our way down the side of the chasm to an empty clearing

"I wonder what is taking D0g so long." Alyx speculated as she scanned the top of the rubble for a sign of the robot. She had sent him ahead to try to find away through to the Citadel and then to meet us in this clearing. I pointed up onto the top of the debris of a gunship where D0g had just leaped.

"Any ideas, D0g?" she shouted up to him. He picked up a boulder and tossed it across the chasm. She laughed as she turned back to him.

"That…doesn't really help, D0g." I grinned at her; it was nice to see her in such high spirits despite the magnitude of the task before us. Suddenly, D0g jumped back over the rubble tinkering around with the junk that was obviously heaped there.

"D0g! What are you doing?" she ran up to the middle of the clearing calling his name. Suddenly a red van flew over the top of the debris, slamming down on the ground next to Alex who had dived out of the way. She stood up and brushed herself off, coming back round to stand near me as D0g jumped down, landing heavily next to the van.

"D0g…really that was a little close." She reprimanded as he bounded up closer to us, gesturing to the van vigorously as he ripped the door off the driver's side. Alyx stepped forward staring incredulously between the van and the entrance to the Citadel hidden in the shadows across the vast abyss that separated us. I grabbed Alyx's arm in question but she just kept walking.

"No, D0g! There is no way! You can't be serious!" D0g nodded his head enthusiastically. My eyes widened in shock when I realized what D0g's idea was. I looked up to Alyx who was now leaning against D0g casually, her arms folded. She really did look beautiful, even amidst all this chaos, it made me smile. She grinned back,

"Well Gordon, unless you have a better suggestion… He is a robot, he did the math." She paused, a confused look on her face as though something hadn't occurred to her. She turned to D0g and whispered under her breath. "You did the math, right?" D0g just looked at her. Alyx sighed as she got into the car.

"Come on, Gordon. Best get in." Tentatively, I sat in the car next to her. She grasped my hand tightly as our eyes met. I wished now more than ever that I could speak freely; that the pain didn't restrict the words of comfort that I could be giving Alyx right now. The look in her eyes told me she understood.

"Uhm…Brace yourself, Gordon." And with that, D0g picked up the van and tossed it forward. As the van flew over the dark chasm and into the very depths of the Citadel we were trying to escape from, we knew we were heading for the unknown, a race to beat the Combine and even time itself as the countdown to the dark energy flare began. We would get through this, because we were a team and our lives were in each others hands now and that thought comforted me.


End file.
